A SURE THING
by Liria Nai
Summary: As one of their last acts as Hogwarts students the Weasley twins decide to prank everyones favorite Potions Professor. SLASH. SSRL. ONESHOT.


Betaed by Heksy…thanks hun you're a star!

Hey, this is some random idea I had and wrote in a night. I was reading through a few ideas my friend Heksy had given me ages ago and a plot formed around this one…

**Hold on...I just got an inspiring thought... The twins pull a prank on Sev with a lust potion and Sev is going to strip in front of Remus. Y****ou place them where ever you want.**

So I have, the only thing to remember is that Remus is still at Hogwarts in Harry's fifth year.

**_A Sure Thing! _**

Many people know about the Weasley twins' wonderful exit from Hogwarts.

The broomstick shaped holes in Umbridge's door, the fireworks and the inspired portable swamp. But not many people know about the other thing they did. In their youthful wisdom Fred and George did a great service. Since their first day at school it had been their dearest wish to play a prank on Professor Severus Snape.

Now many people would say the twins were suicidal and in this case the theory appears correct, but they didn't let that deter them. Oh no, the twins were determined to prank their Professor, as it had been one of their goals for a particularly long time. But things had changed since that first day, the twins had actually gotten to like their snarky Professor. Who, surprisingly, wasn't as bad as everyone thought, the man had let them use his private lab to manufacture their jokes and had even become a silent backer, using his considerable influence to help them gain premises in Diagon Alley.

So yes, strangely enough there was somebody in the world who did like Severus Snape and it wasn't his Mother, although it was open to debate whether his Mother actually did like him, it was just assumed. Anyway the twins decided that if they were going to prank their Potions Professor they had to do it so that the man got something out of it and couldn't complain that much. Though he probably would complain even if they gave him every potion ingredient on the planet.

Now what could their Professor possibly want or need? The answer came to them instantly, Severus Snape, the resident Greasy Git and down right un-sociable bat needed…a shag!

Having decided what they wanted to give him, they now had to figure out how. The first step was picking a possible candidate. Which wasn't exactly easy, they had no idea whether the man liked anybody (doubtful!) or even his sexual preference!

Deciding to make everything more general they settled on a plan.

This is a chapter of _Hogwarts: A History_ that no student could ever view, entitled 'The Bat and the Wolf'.

Severus Snape was a very smart man, but even smart men can meet their match. Snape wasn't as paranoid as Moody, but he did understand where the man was coming from. He didn't go to as extreme lengths as the ex-auror did to ensure his own safety, but he did check for any possible potions or poisons in his food or drink, fully aware that he was loathed by the majority of the Hogwart's population.

That was why he couldn't understand how he had gotten into his current predicament. He was just glad that every student and teacher in the place was currently outside watching the Weasley twins fly off to parts unknown.

Either way Snape did not like the fact that he was currently walking down the corridors in a lust induced stupor, clearly from some unknown potion as he didn't recognize the effects. Alhough he hadn't experienced the effects of every potion in existence, he knew the effects in theory of a lot of them and knew he'd never read about this one which translated to_ I'm fucked._

He'd already removed his robes in his quarters which was a shock in and off itself, he hadn't been seen outside his rooms without them for at least ten years. Fortunately he was still wearing the sleeveless under-robes he always wore beneath them, so he was still a bat, even if he was a little diminished.

All he could do was hope that the effects of the damn potion wore off before he ran into anybody. If not, he wouldn't be responsible for his actions and as much as he didn't want to admit it the other party wouldn't be responsible either!

_It better end bloody soon._ he thought. He didn't appreciate being forced into this situation, but even worse being forced to walk the length and breadth of Hogwarts with a very hard erection was damned uncomfortable to say the least.

Remus Lupin was hurrying down the corridor, intent on getting to the outside courtyard. He'd heard the commotion earlier, all the bangs and whizzes, but had just assumed it was another potions accident. Since he'd found out otherwise he wanted to get outside and see Fred and George off. Ever since Umbridge had sacked him for being a half breed he'd had nothing to do. The damn woman hadn't even appointed a new Muggle Studies Professor.

As he got closer to the end of the corridor, he started feeling funny. It wasn't a bad feeling just odd, he felt like he was suddenly becoming aware of everything around him.

His senses were heightened and he felt light headed and warm like he was in love.

Just then he heard a noise ahead of him.

_'Oh Crap!'_

He stopped short and stared, the partly dumbfounded look on Severus's face was something he'd never seen before. He ignored the now fluttery feelings in his stomach and concentrated on decoding the man's expression.

_Ok anger, understandable it is Snape after all. Hhhhmmm curiosity, fear…now that's a new one. Hhhhmmm now that's weird, is that longing. Lust…what the…_

If anyone was watching at that moment they'd have seen Remus Lupin's eyes bug out and his jaw drop, the man giving the perfect impression of a cartoon character.

Then again, who could blame him? Severus Snape was looking at him with a dark smouldering look, still smirking of course (Remus didn't think his mouth could form any other shape) and stripping, yes stripping in the middle of a school corridor.

Remus licked his lips unconsciously and took a step forward, the feelings in his stomach becoming more intense with every button of Snape's under-robes that came undone. And the man had a lot of buttons.

Snape wasn't really aware of anything other than the fact he was stripping in a bloody corridor, where anybody could come across him and he was doing so in front of the damned wolf as well.

The robe fell to the floor and before he could stop himself, he un-buttoned his trousers and let them fall and then he just had to start on his shirt.

Remus was sure his tongue was hanging out of his head and rolling around on the floor and begging like a dog by now. Severus Snape had just dropped his trousers and like a true wizard the man wore no underwear!

He knew he should be turning tail and running, but he couldn't seem to move and if the erection in his own trousers was anything to go by, he didn't want to leave anyway.

The moment Severus was naked he felt more in control of his actions. He still had to do whatever the potion wanted him to do, but as long as he did it, it appeared he could go about it in his own way.

Silently resigning himself to fucking the wolf Snape stepped forward, his eyes turning distinctly predatory when they noticed Remus's discomfort. He smirked as Remus backed up a step with each one he took forward, until the wolf's back was against the wall and he was pressing into the man's front.

The shabby robes rubbed deliciously against his naked skin and he growled seeing the warring emotions in Remus's amber eyes. He'd always had some grudging admiration for the man's eyes and now he could appreciate them close up.

But there were more important things than eyes at the moment, like lips and too many clothes. In the back of his mind he recognised it was a bit hypocritical for him to be thinking that, he usually wore about seven layers.

The potion forced the thoughts out of his mind and told him in no uncertain terms to _get on with it,_ so he did.

He crashed his lips against Lupin's, demandingly, forcing the other man to open up. He dominated the kiss from the first moment and it appeared that was what Remus wanted. He melted into the kiss, opening his mouth and slinging his arms around the Potions Master's neck

Snape didn't break the kiss to smirk, but he felt like it. Remus felt way too good in his arms, a warm weight that he just wanted to push against the wall and ravish and since the potion was giving him no choice but to do that, he had no choice. _Damn_!

This time he did smirk, even his thoughts were becoming sarcastic.

Lupin was looking up at him now with a slightly dazed look in his eyes that Snape found really endearing.

He moved lower, kissing and biting the other man's neck as his hands undid the buttons of his robes. He made much quicker work of them than he had his own, then again Remus' robes didn't have ten thousand buttons on them. Ok now he was being sarcastic about his own choice in clothing! He really needed to get out more!

This potion was a damned pain in the arse!

He smiled against Remus' neck; but then again he wouldn't be the one feeling pain in his arse today!

He finished the last button on Remus' robes, the shirt soon followed and a moment later a panting Remus Lupin was naked from the waist down, his robes brushing slim hips. Snape found himself quite liking the image.

Smirking widely he dropped to his knees and parted the other man's thighs with his hands before taking the man's cock into his mouth.

Remus groaned as Sev's lips closed around him, every swirl of the man's tongue sent him tumbling into ecstasy.

Snape pulled away once he was sure he had Remus as incoherent as possible. Having no other option he spat on his hand a couple of times before sliding a finger into Remus's hole. The heat of it was fantastic, he thrust his finger forward slowly at first, opening him up further and searching for that special spot. After a moment he added another finger, scissoring them still searching…there!

He knew he'd found it when the man above him gave a soft wail, and thrust down onto his fingers trying to take more of them.

Deeming that as enough preparation Snape stood, quickly but not too fast so as to avoid a head rush. Remus knowing what he wanted helped him by jumping up as he lifted and wrapped his legs around Snape's waist.

Snape bent his head to kiss the other man as he pushed forward slowly. The tight ring of muscle gave with nary a protest, informing Snape that Remus had done this a couple of times. But the heat that encased him was tight and almost virginal disputing his earlier thought.

After that thoughts gave way to feelings as he thrust forward into the wanton body pinned against the wall. Remus moaned, he arched his back with every touch of Snape's hands and when the man hit his prostate he wailed, making Snape wonder if the Weasley twins were still putting on a display outside and that was why no one had heard them yet.

He snaked his long boned hand down between their bodies and grasped Remus' erection with his potion stained fingers, pumping furiously along with his thrusts. Remus came first, his moan being blocked by Snape's tongue, the potions master followed not a moment later.

He was dimly aware of lowering Remus' legs and his head falling forward to rest against the wall. Remus was panting in his ear and sighing softly, before pushing against his shoulder to look him in the eye.

They stared at each other for a moment, both of them panting slightly until a noise down a nearby corridor startled them. He leapt back and spun around to look down the corridor, but luckily no one was there. When he turned back however Remus was gone. He sighed and was about to gather up his clothes when there was a sudden bang and a flash of light. For a moment he thought someone had taken a picture, then he noticed a piece of paper floating in the air. Deciding that it obviously had something to do with the situation he'd just been in, Snape read it.

The moment he finished, Snape's face broke into an evil little smirk, he cast a glance in the direction Remus had gone and his smirk transformed into a slight smile, _just you wait wolf_

Dear Harry

We just thought we'd take this opportunity to tell you about this new product we have available. It isn't available to just anybody as the use of it could be quite indiscriminate. As you are a responsible young wizard we feel that you could benefit very well from this product.

Our first customer was quite enamoured with its effects and has already placed another order. It seemed to work very well for him. We thought this might also be beneficial for you and Mr Malfoy.

Let us know whether you are interested.

Messrs…

Fred and George Weasley

p.s. Do you like how professional we've become?

Harry laughed for a moment at that last line before turning his attention to the envelope the letter had come in.

Looking inside the envelope Harry pulled out another sheet of paper, a folded flyer advertising the twin's newest product. Thinking of the relationship between him and Malfoy, Harry assumed it was some sort of prank that would cause the Slytherin a lot of pain.

** WEASLEY WIZARDING WEASES**

Proudly present…

**_A Sure Thing _**

When taken this potion lowers the drinker's inhibitions and allows the drinker to seek out the one they fancy the most and get down and dirty with them. If the other party feels the same way then the same compulsion comes over them.

If no feelings exist, then the effects are cancelled immediately.

Warning…Potion only acts on existing feelings and will wear off if recipient is not willing to go passed a certain point of intimacy!

_'They've got to be kidding?'_

A/N…Well what do you think, just came to me and I want to know if it's any good.

Planning to do a Harry/Draco sequel at some point, if people want it.


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